Ok this started last month and you all enjoyed it so much i thought i’d share some more home truths with you from this past month, all in the name of keeping this shizz real and to show that life is more than pretty pictures on social media. Life can be pretty shitty behind the squares sometimes, not all the time, but it only represents a small amount of life, and as much as we all love to keep it a positive place, expelling the feeling of not being good enough, or that big question “why isn’t my life that perfect too?” is also important don’t you think? Well i do, and confessing my silly moments to you dear reader is cathartic and hopefully will bring a smile to your face also.
Outfit is all via the lovely people at Laura Ashley
The dress has to be one of my most favourite items this summer, its insanely comfy and i can not wait to wear it again!!
- I went to take a selfie last week and the beauty filter was set to off, i practically shat myself at my own reflection.. rough didn’t even cover it. Honestly it was a shocker to see skin like a crepe paper consistency around my eyes.. wrinkles, bags, grey tinge.. lush! The absolute epitome of attractiveness.
- I’m too lazy to exercise but wanted to try and tone my ‘mum-tum’ so i bought one of those slendertone belt thingies.. its still in the box 3 months later.. apparently i’m that lazy.
- Possibly my most cringe moment this month: I bent over and flashed a boob to the delivery man the other day.. he got more than a signature that day… #theyrejustboobs 😂 But this is all part of the no bra problem i’m currently incurring. Plus the poor man looked mortified. He hasn’t been back to deliver since😜
- In a tired stupor through bleary eyes i grabbed nail varnish remover instead of eye-makeup remover, it stunk like a mutha clucker so thankfully i realised before any contact with my peepers was made, but wow.. that was close. It also took the nail polish off my freshly painted thumb nail which was a bummer.
- I’m using mascara to cover up my grey hairs more than i am on my eyelashes of late… they are gaining momentum by the day, i estimate i will be completely grey by the time i’m 36 (thank god for hair dye and my appointment next week)!! I did actually use mascara the other day as the mascara manufacturers intended (on my eye lashes) and after a vigorous hay-fever induced eye rub left great big black rings around me peepers. Forgot i had it on tho and walked around Tesco looking like i was Morticia Adams, the lady on the checkout actually said “You ok lovey?” with a sympathetic look and genuine concern for my well being. I didn’t have a clue why until i caught my reflection in the rear view mirror when i was back in the car.. oopps.
- Last week i had the munchies SO bad(it was special lady allowance week, if y’know what i mean) i was like pacman, nail it down or i will eat it. I polished off a full pack of Gluten Free cookies, 2 bags of crisps and half a box of dry cornflakes in one afternoon. I looked 6 months pregnant for about 3 days after that, just in time for me to do a Bikini shoot coming up.. awesome!
- Lastly, i may look serene in these photos(i was channeling my inner liv Tyler in Lord of The Rings.. but without those amazing lips, or luscious long hair, or Aragon, mores the pity) but amidst the photos were lots of swear words and me yelling at the husband photographer, who had just gotten home from work, and i had made him come straight out to take photos of me prancing around in a dress (in all fairness he wasn’t taking my direction and i was getting annoyed, plus it was , like, 32 degrees!). I like to think i could win an oscar or at least a bafta for my contribution to acting in some photo shoots.
So in the vein of keeping it real ladies, what have you got to confess this month? I loved hearing your last months confessions.. they honestly cracked me up and made me feel like we really are all in this together!!