#BodyPositivity : Meet Ann of Kremb de la Kremb

Meet Ann

Creator of Kremb de la Kremb

Blogger, Stylist and Librarian/Teacher

Mum & Wife

Follow Ann on Instagram here

This is Ann’s journey on her wonderful two legs

I’ve Always Loved My Legs

I’ve always loved
my legs. They’re the one body part I don’t mind flaunting—yes,
I chose the word flaunting just to prove a point of pride in my legs.
I’m 45, and I still wear both mini skirts and short shorts as if I
were 15! If I’m to receive a compliment, it’s usually about my
legs. If you ask my husband the
favourite physical part of me, he’ll
instantly say my legs. It’s not arrogant for me to like my legs.
Every single woman needs to identify at least one part of their body
and completely celebrate it. They must. After all, self love breeds
confidence, and confidence shines as beauty. So believe me when I
tell you fellow women friends, you must find at least one thing about
yourself and love it. Love it so much that you own it. Be it your
nails, eyelashes, toned abs, flat chest, voluptuous bottom, find it
and flaunt it ladies!

Oh no! But what
happens when that one thing, that one body part of a woman that she
has always taken pride in, begins to deteriorate? That dear women
friends is what’s happening to me and to be frank, it stinks! My
legs are beginning to fail me. Big time. I’ve already received a
successful right hip replacement. Thank God for that one because I
was miserable until I received Pinky. (Yes, I’ve named her Pinky,
my new pink hip!) Right when the recovery of Pinky was smoothly come
to a successful end, my left knee decided to act out. Basically four
months after my miraculous (at least to me) hip replacement, I found
out that my left knee had finally given out, and it now needs to be
replaced. (My anterior cruciate ligament, ACL, injury from my early
20s was now shot. The graft that had been created in 1995 has now
disintegrated. I no longer have an ACL in my left knee.) My left knee
is filled with so much arthritis and bone spurs; basically it looks
like a white infested forest of old stuff. It’s got to go, or I
just deal with the pain.

I’ve been dealing
with chronic pain in my lower appendages for more than a few years
now. At one point, and I’m not embarrassed to admit this, I had to
receive help for the depression caused by the chronic pain. I think
part of the reason I am currently able to handle the pain in my left
knee is because of the antidepressant I take from the time before the
hip replacement. Chronic pain is real, and it can cause the brain to
think some crazy things. Luckily my mind hasn’t gone too crazy in
dealing with my left knee problems, and I thank that to the
medication I take. One thing has definitely suffered however: my ego!

Even with
fluctuations in weight, my legs have always seemed to stay trim. Yet
now, those legs, they’ve lost any sort of definition, they suffer
from atrophy and therefore wrinkles, plus those cellulite dimples are
settling in. All these characteristics are new for me. Mind you this
is all me looking down on them; it’s what I see. They probably
still actually look fine. But, what about the fact that they don’t
work for me….This is so hard, physically difficult and mentally
too. I have always loved having strong legs. I’ve always loved that
line I get on the side of my thigh demonstrating strength. I could
squeeze my thigh or slant it to the side and get that nice line.
These are my vanities that I own and share of the one item on my body
that I’ve always appreciated. There’s more to the heartache: I
have always loved walking, jogging, hiking. I used to play volleyball
on the beach. I could do flips off the diving board. I can’t do any
of those activities anymore, and it’s absolutely heart wrenching.

I still remain strong in my opinion that I must find something to
love about myself. And it’s going to be my legs. I just have to
start accepting how they are today. They are no longer young. They
are definitely damaged and in need of surgical repair. I will one day
do this. I’m not sure how much longer I can wait. But in the
meantime, I have to find something, there’s got to be something I
can do to celebrate my legs. Just this week I found it: I can ride a
bike! It’s so fun!! The breeze in my hair, nature all around me,
the pumping up a hill and the joy of acceleration going down. When I
ride a bike, my knee does not hurt, and my muscles are working!! Oh
yes! I may have found something, and the relief feels so good. Maybe
I can still love my legs after all. As long as I can use them,
attempt to make them strong, take pride in their strength, I will
always love my legs. I just have to find ways to celebrate them in
any which way I can.

*Dearest Rachel,
thank you for giving me this opportunity to reflect on a body part
I’ve always loved but have had a hard time with as of late. This
process of writing out what I love about myself has provided me with
the determination to always find a way to love my legs. And now, it’s
time to go take a bike ride! Wink wink.

Thanks for having

Love, Ann from Kremb
de la Kremb

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