Today I have the absolute pleasure of bringing you Part 2 of the #BodyPositivity series with with one of my most favourite people in the blogasphere.
Vicki really needs no introduction as a Body Positivity influencer herself she isn’t shy of taking to Instagram, talking openly and honestly and making every woman feel good about themselves.
Two years ago she almost broke the internet with her Bikini clad posts with a beautiful honesty of her post baby body which caused the most fabulous ripple effect where so many women posted bikini clad photos revealing glorious bodies all shapes and sizes, stretch marks and 6 packs, it was truly inspirational.
#ProudInMyBikini is still ongoing with women celebrating who they are and how they look!
Today Vicki talks to us about techniques in accepting our ‘flaws’…
Accepting My Flaws by Vicki of Honest Mum.
It’s taken 36 LOONG years but I’ve finally accepted my flaws. Scrap that. I hate the term ‘flaws’- I’ve finally accepted my nuances!
I think age and experience (overcoming adversity as we all do in some form or another, the older we get, and dealing with the general ups and downs life throws our way) makes us realise what really matters. Sounds cheesy but it’s true. Having babies in particular forced me to reassess and refocus.
Dealing with a traumatic birth felt like existing in slow-mo. As if my life had hit pause, somehow. There was no choice but to rebuild from there. It didn’t matter what came before it: a close family, an MA, my identity wrapped up in being a filmmaker…I had to seek help and start over. Setting up my blog, Honest Mum, along with the support of family, friends and a super therapist, helped me do just that. Slowly, I rediscovered myself and became strong again. Part of that journey has been accepting myself: body and mind.
Over the last year I’ve come across several experts stating that when you write down your flaws, the things people could fling at you to cause pain and you approach them head-on, you feel liberated and stronger than before.
It’s rather like facing your fears in order to thrive.
So, I thought I’d do just that in this guest post for my friend, Rachel. Inspirational, kind, smart, a real go-getter, there’s no where else I’d like to share a post on embracing my ‘nuances’ than right here.
- Mum tum. I’ve accepted that this tiger striped, jelly-like tum my kids like to knead as if it were dough (thanks kids) won’t ever disappear. It’s diminished a little due to recent weight loss, but in all honestly, could do with a tummy tuck to resemble its pre-kid state (which took 300 sit ups a day by the way so that’s never going to happen now). I’m definitely not vain nor brave enough for an opp though, so self-acceptance and a bit of Spanx here and there on shoots is where it’s at for me.#mumtumforevs.
- My arms. I’ve always had a thing about my arms. I was a naturally skinny child until puppy fat hit then I had two ‘FULL’ years we’ll call them, until a growth spurt in height stretched me out. I’ve yoyo-ed in weight thanks to PCOS since my teens, and recently a stone after taking intolerance tests and upping my exercise. My arms though, will never be slim jims and whilst I cringe and crop them out of photos for the most part (close ups rock, right?), I’ve accepted these are my arms and they make me strong enabling me to write (my greatest love) so deserve a high five (you can totally high-five yourself by the way).
- My boobs. I know lots of women complain of wanting bigger boobs but I’d love a smaller pair if I could. I dream of wearing backless tops or going bra-less as Rachael does, but that’s just not a possibility for me. The jugs have truly taken some punches, literally and metaphorically (toddlers anyone?) and after breastfeeding both of my kids, it’s safe to say they benefit from a supportive bra, but they’re mine and they helped nourish my boys and deserve some respect.
- Lips. I wish my lips were fuller and whilst my husband bangs on at me that, ‘they’re not thin and perfect’ in his words, they’re far from Angelina’s plump pout. I used to spend years, literally years as a tween, pouting in a mirror, to try and boost them up. Who knows if it helped. I discovered lip liners and gloss which helped and now I do the best I can with what I’ve got.
- Chubby thumbs. This is a funny one and even made two specialists laugh as they stated they probably didn’t grow enough in the womb- and whilst you’d never notice they’re any smaller than my other fingers, I’ve been conscious of them since I was a kid! They’ve never made a nail shot on Insta for example but maybe now, they should.
So there you have it, my top 5 flaws…there are many more of course but in the interest of following my own advice and choosing to be kind to myself, I’ll leave that list right here.
Perfection doesn’t exist but it can often feel it does, online. It’s natural to want to share our ‘best takes’ and hide our short comings (and that includes short thumbs) on the world wide web, but it’s vital to be honest, for ourselves and others too. I want my sons to grow up feeling positive about who they are and what they look like. The wonderful things that make them, them.
I’m teaching my boys not to place value on aesthetics but to put personality, good health, wisdom and generosity first.
To do that though I must lead by example.
And so must you.
Thanks Rachel for the space to share.
You can read Part 1 of the #BodyPositivity series here about my personal journey so far