Wednesday, 19 July 2017

#BodyPositivity : Meet Ann of Kremb de la Kremb

Meet Ann

Creator of Kremb de la Kremb
Blogger, Stylist and Librarian/Teacher
Mum & Wife
Follow Ann on Instagram here

This is Ann's journey on her wonderful two legs

I've Always Loved My Legs

I’ve always loved my legs. They’re the one body part I don’t mind flaunting—yes, I chose the word flaunting just to prove a point of pride in my legs. I’m 45, and I still wear both mini skirts and short shorts as if I were 15! If I’m to receive a compliment, it’s usually about my legs. If you ask my husband the favourite physical part of me, he’ll instantly say my legs. It’s not arrogant for me to like my legs. Every single woman needs to identify at least one part of their body and completely celebrate it. They must. After all, self love breeds confidence, and confidence shines as beauty. So believe me when I tell you fellow women friends, you must find at least one thing about yourself and love it. Love it so much that you own it. Be it your nails, eyelashes, toned abs, flat chest, voluptuous bottom, find it and flaunt it ladies!

Oh no! But what happens when that one thing, that one body part of a woman that she has always taken pride in, begins to deteriorate? That dear women friends is what’s happening to me and to be frank, it stinks! My legs are beginning to fail me. Big time. I’ve already received a successful right hip replacement. Thank God for that one because I was miserable until I received Pinky. (Yes, I’ve named her Pinky, my new pink hip!) Right when the recovery of Pinky was smoothly come to a successful end, my left knee decided to act out. Basically four months after my miraculous (at least to me) hip replacement, I found out that my left knee had finally given out, and it now needs to be replaced. (My anterior cruciate ligament, ACL, injury from my early 20s was now shot. The graft that had been created in 1995 has now disintegrated. I no longer have an ACL in my left knee.) My left knee is filled with so much arthritis and bone spurs; basically it looks like a white infested forest of old stuff. It’s got to go, or I just deal with the pain.

I’ve been dealing with chronic pain in my lower appendages for more than a few years now. At one point, and I’m not embarrassed to admit this, I had to receive help for the depression caused by the chronic pain. I think part of the reason I am currently able to handle the pain in my left knee is because of the antidepressant I take from the time before the hip replacement. Chronic pain is real, and it can cause the brain to think some crazy things. Luckily my mind hasn’t gone too crazy in dealing with my left knee problems, and I thank that to the medication I take. One thing has definitely suffered however: my ego!

Even with fluctuations in weight, my legs have always seemed to stay trim. Yet now, those legs, they’ve lost any sort of definition, they suffer from atrophy and therefore wrinkles, plus those cellulite dimples are settling in. All these characteristics are new for me. Mind you this is all me looking down on them; it’s what I see. They probably still actually look fine. But, what about the fact that they don’t work for me….This is so hard, physically difficult and mentally too. I have always loved having strong legs. I’ve always loved that line I get on the side of my thigh demonstrating strength. I could squeeze my thigh or slant it to the side and get that nice line. These are my vanities that I own and share of the one item on my body that I’ve always appreciated. There’s more to the heartache: I have always loved walking, jogging, hiking. I used to play volleyball on the beach. I could do flips off the diving board. I can’t do any of those activities anymore, and it’s absolutely heart wrenching.

I still remain strong in my opinion that I must find something to love about myself. And it’s going to be my legs. I just have to start accepting how they are today. They are no longer young. They are definitely damaged and in need of surgical repair. I will one day do this. I’m not sure how much longer I can wait. But in the meantime, I have to find something, there’s got to be something I can do to celebrate my legs. Just this week I found it: I can ride a bike! It’s so fun!! The breeze in my hair, nature all around me, the pumping up a hill and the joy of acceleration going down. When I ride a bike, my knee does not hurt, and my muscles are working!! Oh yes! I may have found something, and the relief feels so good. Maybe I can still love my legs after all. As long as I can use them, attempt to make them strong, take pride in their strength, I will always love my legs. I just have to find ways to celebrate them in any which way I can.

*Dearest Rachel, thank you for giving me this opportunity to reflect on a body part I’ve always loved but have had a hard time with as of late. This process of writing out what I love about myself has provided me with the determination to always find a way to love my legs. And now, it’s time to go take a bike ride! Wink wink.

Thanks for having me.

Love, Ann from Kremb de la Kremb


1 comment

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