On reflection the things that have happened aren't life threatening or totally horrendous, but its so easy to get suckered in to a bad way of thinking after a few to many things don't go to plan or get you down.
I mentioned on Instagram that my Husband and I recently had a good sit down and a chat about life. About how after nearly a decade of loss, bad fortune and sheer shitty luck our views on the world have become tainted. Negatively tainted.
But negativity begets negativity. It spreads faster than wild fire and before you know it, you're shrouded with a miserable life wondering where the hell you went wrong.
Quite a heavy start to a post, but you know me always open to sharing, I also think its good to show a real side to life instead of just the glossy facade we so often see in social media.
So how am i combating negativity in my life? Well, its definitely a work in progress rather than a miracle fix. But I'm putting my positive pants on and this is what i'm doing.
1. Talk about it.Sounds simple i know. But often just saying the words out loud can break up the aggravation that's going on in your head. Often when we bottle things up and over think we amplify the problems, which in turn gives them even more power over us.
Be open, speak about the problem, just once, then lay it to bed. You'll find once you've spoken about it out loud the problem will never seem so bad. Be sure to not get caught in a loop where you're repeating the problem to multiple people. By doing this, and talking about it over and over again all you are doing is fuelling the negativity and keeping it alive.
2. Make a Happy list.I realised when i was setting my New Years goals that by reflecting on the good, it makes going forward easier and more positive. This works in the same vane.
By looking for the good, and actively listing it, you're enhancing the positive in your life.
It can be daily or weekly but be sure to give it a go. If you create a daily Happy list you will see the little things that made you smile really do add up. Sometimes life is so fast paced that we let go of the good things way to quickly.
My happy list this week has included:
Peanut butter and jam on wheat free toast, making my breakfast yummy
New silver shoes adding a spring to my step
Day date with my husband
Fresh flowers on my windowsill making me smile each time i see them
Morning snuggles with my son when he's still toasty war, sleepy and just delicious.
See super simple, but just reading them makes me happy and evoking happy thoughts produces positive feelings. Simple right?
Find just 5 minutes to write your list and it will fill you with good vibes.
3.Go outdoors/ Take a walkI know that when i'm in a pretty dark place mentally i tend to become a recluse, choosing to go out less and less until before i know it a full week has passed and all i've done is drop my kids to their bus stop and then come back again.
Push yourself out, don a pair of snuggly boots or trainers a big coat and take yourself for a walk. The fresh air will invigorate you, the outdoors will alleviate an over active mind. The exercise will get your heart beating, releasing positive endorphin's making you feel lighter and calmer.
Music is a powerful thing, It can raise us up or indeed evoke sad memories too.
4. Sing (even badly) to your Favourite songs
But when i'm feeling down I have a few songs that are guaranteed to get my foot tapping and me warbling along at the top of my voice. DO it. Don't feel self-conscious. Spend 5 minutes in the car singing on your own, if you're in the house, close the blinds and have a dance party for one! Just do it. Mine and Neo's favourites include Counting Stars by One Republic and Eye of the Tiger (or lie on the tiger in Neo's words) by Survivor, each time i hear these i feel happier within seconds. Yes it's a quick fix, no maybe all of life's problems won't have magically disappeared, but its about putting yourself back in the positive zone, enabling you to handle things with a renewed sense of vigour.
5. Treat YourselfAs someone who tries to live a 'less is more' life this is kind of a contradiction i guess. However there is no denying that a lil' something now and again is good for this women's soul.
I love to paint my nails, so for me a new nail polish is a lovely treat. A bunch of flowers, a new lipstick or even a pretty new mug to drink my coffee. The idea is that you deserve nice things too. I find so often we concentrate on buying what the family needs, or the food shop that we kind of get lost along the way. And although i am far from hard done by, treating yourself should be welcomed and not shunned. It allows the mind to think of yourself for those moments whilst your choosing that new colour, or pretty flowers. Its about being in that moment, just for you. And why not? It doesn't have to cost the earth (Lord knows January is always a tight long month after the festive season) But treating yourself shouldn't feel naughty. It should feel just and right. Its about taking the emphasis away from ' I really shouldn't' to ' Yes I deserve this'.
Having written this i already feel in a much more positive state of mind. I feel hopeful, i feel enthusiastic, and i feel ready... Ready for whatever it may be that life throws at me.
What do you do to rid negativity and stay positive?
I'd love to hear! Let me know in the comments below!