I have been an awful blogger lately. I have had no new outfits to post, i have not been replying to emails or comments and i haven't been swinging by or linking up to any of your wonderful blogs.
For this i sincerely apologies! I love the blogging community, it feels like a protective wonderfully lovely bubble against the "real" world.
A few of you may remember i mentioned some genuine stress and anxiety a couple of weeks ago, but didn't say why. So i thought i would unveil the reasons behind my cryptic comments and talk to you all about my current "real life" situation in all its crappiness as i just can't fake enthusiasm today. Life has worn me down.
For those of you who have been with me from the beginning you may recall (or not, so i shall tell you) that my husband ,Paul and I ran a business together since the beginning 6 and a half years ago, just think of the film Jerry Maguire and that was kind of how we properly got together and started the business but in a less dramatised way,lol!
We have had good time (hitting one million turnover, winning Young Entrepreneur of the year, generally working together) and we've had very bad times (huge debts, people stealing and back stabbing, recession) Its been more tough than good, but we plodded on.
Then the dreaded recession hit and we struggled on through until we had 3 customers go into liquidation consecutively leaving an outstanding total bill owed to us for over £100,000.
We tried and tried to recover but we couldn't.
So this is me telling you that yep, life is pretty shitty right now (please excuse my cuss words but sometimes an expletive in this condition are necessary, in real life i am actually cursing like a trooper)
We are closing down our business which is so hard, for many reasons (practicality, nostalgia, necessity)
and we are having an awful time doing it.
Seeing as I'm being totally honest here i will also say, we may be loosing our house, some belongings and cars. Its an awful situation to be in.
We have never been a flash couple driving round in expensive cars (i drive a little mazda, which i luff!) or in fancy houses and we don't spend a lot of money on anything, we have not had a holiday in over 3 years and we don't own anything super expensive. I hope you all know that about me, i'm actually quite a cheapskate!
So our personal lives are amidst the mess that goes hand in hand with the business. We are currently on the roller-coaster and, in all honesty i want to get off. It has been an atrocious week of no luck and things constantly going wrong even when you thought they couldn't possibly.
I am running off about 3 hours sleep a night and getting up to work harder than i ever knew i could. On one hand i think to myself "Rachel you are made of tough stuff, keep going" on the other hand i am in a mess on the floor crying my eyes out.
I am super grateful to the lovely ladies i work with in my "new" job (i started it in October and had been running 2 jobs for a while there) for being supportive and flexible and just generally making me laugh when i thought i had forgotten how, and our dear friends Estelle and Dean for giving us so much help and just generally being wonderful friends...salt of the earth, you guys!
I know this isn't really my normal post type but i think i really felt the need to vent and this is my only place i guess. I also wanted to offer up an explanation as to why posts may be sporadic in the next few weeks. I may still manage it all as i actually find it a wonderful distraction from the crappy reality right now, but it may not be on regular days. I have a wonderful Sponsor Spotlight coming up for you soon and a beautiful set of photos my husband took which will be coming tomorrow.
So if you could all bear with me through this tricky time, i am *hoping* to be back in a happy, bubbly, fun place on the blog and in real life, soon.
Marisa's last week. They are from the snowy time we had a couple of weeks ago. I am completely loving polka dots right now. Even in times of stress i still do like a nice polka-dotty number ;-)
Thank you for listening to my stressy rambles, when i get emails /comments /tweets through it really still does make me smile and feels so good to have you all, my extended friends from across the globe.
Chambray Shirt: Next
Red Clogs: Lotta From Stockholm
Jacket: River Island