Monday, 28 May 2012

Insecurities

Yup thats right, i'm starting this week off with a bit of a ramble for you all. 
Hubby took these photos last night for me and i yo yo'd back and fourth as to whether or not to post them. Don't get me wrong the outfit in itself is nice enough, but some demons keep creeping in and whispering in  my ear "Flying somewhere today Rachel??!!" Yup thats right, i have major Bingo Wings issues. 
I've mentioned before that, after i had Neo my WHOLE body changed. I carry weight in different places and find it hard to loose yet very easy to gain  (and honestly, most of the time can't be arsed!) Through the winter i can hide my hang up's behind cosy knits and lots of layers. But, come summer, my insecurities have no place to go but out in the open. I'm not gunna lie, this post very nearly didnt make it. I just kept focusing in on the those flabby arms. 
But Heck, i cant hide all summer right? I'm a lady, we all are here, and as much as i cant perhaps embrace those arms, i should at least stop stressing about it. 
Anyone with me??  (not so much on the bingo wings, but more the lets just be who we are!) 
Yes i wear spanx occasionally, yes i have a mum tum, and no i wont ever be wafer skinny again. But, i'm happy, i'm healthy and therefore should focus on that.
I've never thought of myself as a "fashion" blogger, I've never classed myself as fashionable. It's more of a  personal style blog with tidbits from day to day life. I need to stop comparing myself to others and complaining to myself. I hope to find time to work out in future, but real life at the moment is hectic. 

Acceptance of myself is the best way forward.





Dress: Primark
Belt & Shoes: Peacocks
Kate Spade bag: EBay £14!


And if you weren't looking at these arms before, i'm sure you will be after that rant!! :)
So tell me, do you have insecurities or are you happy with who you are? 




linkies:Monday Mingle WatchOutForTheWoestmans
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41 comments

  1. Um Rach - what bingo wings??? You are fab just as you are, your style is amazing and you are one of the happiest, loveliest people I know.

    You are right though, being healthy and having a fab family is the main thing :)

    P.s Your dress is lovely!

    xx

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  2. What are you like!? You are a stunning lady who looks incredible. we all have the same kind of insecurities about our bodies but you know what? It's only us who really notices them.

    Being happy and healthy along with enjoying life has to be the best thing so keep doing what your doing hun.

    The outfit is lovely by the way.

    X x

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  3. I think woman have a way of focussing on the bits that they perceive as negative, I know that I do it, it doesn't matter if most of me looks great, I always hone in on the little things I don't like. I feel a bit awkward in summer as I really dislike my elbows and knees - sounds crazy but I'm convinced I've got chubby baby joints so I prefer to be wearing tights and a cardigan. I've got so many things I like about myself too though, it's just they become so much less important when one of my 'flaws' is on display.

    Anyway, I would never have even looked it your arms, except in passing, if it wasn't for you mentioning it. That outfit is lovely for summer, I love the colour combination, and I can't believe that is a Primark dress. But more important than the clothes, you are a totally beautiful woman, in every way xo

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  4. Oh, I love that print and the necklace. What a score with that bag!

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  5. Wow - gorgeous outfit! I love the bright colors/pattern. Such a happy look!

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  6. Hi Rachel!

    I found on Monday Mingle
    First and foremost forget your flabby arms they are not, they look fine to me, i have flabby arm too but i guess when you get to 52 it happens, but i do some weights for the flabbies and it will get better:)

    Nice blog, nice girl and nice style i like it!

    I will follow you

    Ariane

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  7. Oh Rachel, I hear you - but I'll tell you what I always think when I see your outfits: oh I wish I had great legs like Rachel so I could wear cute little dresses and skirts more often - it wouldn't even have occured to me about your arms, sweetie! Remember other people focus on the bits of you they LIKE, whereas we focus on the bits of ourselves we DON'T like.

    But you know what: if you're eating sensibly and doing at least a reasonable amount of exercise then I believe that's the way your body is meant to be, and we should do our best to embrace it. So if it means showing off your arms, so be it! If you're a confident and happy person (and I'm sure you're no wallflower with all the bright colours you wear ;) then you can get away with anything. Confidence helps us get away with wearing anything - so if you love it, wear it! Hope that rambling makes sense...?

    As for the outfit - I think it's sooo pretty and the pops of pink are gorgeous. But you're normally so smiley in your pictures, I can sort of tell you weren't happy wearing it. It's obvious we all love it, but you have to love it, too...!

    Catherine x
    http://notdressedaslamb.com

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  8. You look GREAT, like always!
    Keep on keepin on!
    Ashley:)

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  9. Well I think you look fab! I have quite a few insecurities but no kids to blame mine on lol
    Love the dress, the colours gorgeous!!! would have never guessed it was from Primark xxx

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  10. I love posts like this, it reminds me that as bloggers we are also real people with feelings and insecurities.

    <3

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  11. Ooo love the dress, beautiful! :) I think we all are struggling with insecurties from time to time but just be yourself and embrace it, there is only one you . :) I hope you understand what I mean, English is not my primary language. ;) for myself Im struggling with being in my opinion too skinny and I suffer from eczema in my face .

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  12. I love the dress and think you look amazing, I know that feeling though, I carry weight in my arms too now for some reason, I keep telling myself i'm going to tone up but you know how that goes...

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  13. Bingo wings, mum tum, thunder thighs, saggy boobs, fat back (no...just me?!) All the joys of motherhood :)

    Honestly, I wouldnt lie, would never have said your arms were fat, and even if they were, that dress is so fab no one would notice!! LOL!!

    Luv you sis, just as you are, flabby bis and all!! :-D x x

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  14. I think you are perfectly proportioned. you look lovely in the outfit and the dress and necklace are gorgeous!
    I can almost guarantee you that you will look back at these photos in 10 years and think how great you looked and wonder why you thought your arms did not look good.

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  15. you look great i love the dress and your arms look fab to me xx

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  16. Such a pretty dress!! You are lovely, lady.

    I'm the same way though. There is this show in America where women pick from a line up of other women in their underwear which one looks like them (in their mind) -- and the woman almost always picks someone who is bigger than herself. I think we all have a really hard time seeing ourselves for how we really look and that's quite sad!! (This show also bothers me because they then do a side-by-side comparison of the two women and the main subject always goes, "Oh I'm not as fat as I thought!" but then what about that other woman? So she's fat? It just seems to be a weird make one woman feel good at the expense of another situation....)

    I have a really obsessive fixation on my stomach -- I gain weight in my lower abdomen, below my belly button, but not above it, so I have a little stomach pooch that I can't stand. In reality, I know it's not that bad, but sometimes I swear it feels like I'm huge. I think your arms look fine though -- you always look lovely!

    xo Michelle

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  17. Oh, Rachel, I have NO idea where you got the wing arm thing from. You look perfectly adorable! I see no flab AT ALL!
    Why are we so critical of ourselves? I'm a naturally very small girl and my whole life I hated it because I didn't want people to think I was anorexic or something. I hated being called skinny and swore I was born with a teenage boys body. So in my early twenties I ate and ate and ate junk and drank at all hours of the night and finally gained weight, but when I did, it was in such an unhealthy way that I looked horrible, so I exercised and guess what? My body went back to where it was when I was in my teens...and I'm closer to 30!! Our bodies are the way they are and I have finally convinced myself to embrace that. Big, small; skinny, thick; we are all women no matter our size, and I personally think you look wonderful. Everytime I see your pictures, I think you look like one of the most chic and fashionable mommies ever! :)
    Thanks for this real post. I enjoy these.

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  18. What a lovely message...I think you're beautiful mama!

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  19. I think you are delightful, and so much so, taht I am not only follwing you, but adding to my blogroll,yeahhhhhhhhhh
    I have the feeling that we are going to be great blogger friends.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  20. Just stumbled upon your blog, and I gotta say, I love you for writing this post! I, too have insecurities about my arms. They're large in comparison to the rest of me, from years of weight training, and honestly, I'd just usually prefer sleeves. This post is just what I needed, as it is starting to really warm up here, and sleeves just aren't always in the cards for me. And, looking at your arms, I'm thinking, "she's crazy! She looks great! Her arms don't look big at all!". So I'm thinking that I'm probably crazy, too. Good to know! :) I hope you have a wonderful wonderful week and that you wear your sleeveless tops and dresses with pride and confidence!!

    Jessica
    www.highheelstosneakers.com

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  21. The first thing I saw when looking at your pics was the gorgeous print on the dress and your fab legs! Everyone has their hang ups - mine being my pretty out of proportion hip to waist ratio! But keep smiling :)

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  22. I really love your blog :) and though I'm sure it won't make any difference me telling you - your arms look fine! It's a beautiful outfit and you have a great figure. I have the same bingo wings insecurity - getting my arms out during the summer is something I dread and do my best to avoid, though I'm sure I'm making a bigger deal out of it than I should be!

    xx

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  23. P.s. Yes I'm from Wales too! :) Near Llangollen!

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  24. I see no bingo wings! At all!! You look fabulous x

    Please take a peek at my blog :)
    http://neenyswishlist.blogspot.co.uk/

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  25. Oh gosh..we ALL go through this...some days I want to give up all together when I hate the way I look in a couple outfit shots in a row...lately has been tough because I am preggo and getting such a large tummy...and the legs are getting thicker and so on and so on...all worth it, but still not easy to hit "post" some days.
    I think you look beautiful...and I LOVE that dress...what a gorgeous summer fun print.
    C

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  26. aww, you are beautiful no matter what! <3 it is our flaws that make us unique.

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  27. OMG you don't even slightly have bingo wings silly!

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  28. You look adorable! Your arms look great to me actually :)

    Id love to say I dont have any body conscious moments but I do. I think we all do. Mine is my mommy belly (after 2 c-sections)But when I have those moments I pause and try to think about why its there...Kids! My love for them surpasses the stretched out skin and the roadmap (stretch marks) that they left. I do still have mental fatty moments though lol.
    Have a wonderful day :)

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  29. Err... your arms look fine! And you look fab there. I am totally in love with that outfit as well. I love your blog, you always look gorgeous. x

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  30. Sorry I have been away for the long weekend and am just getting back into the swing of things now. All I really have to say about this post is that you're completely bonkers. Your arms look like the most normal arms I've ever seen and I've never once had the thought that they look like wings or anything else out of the ordinary.

    That being said, I hate my legs!!

    xo
    Kym
    bitty.and.bunny

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  31. You most definitely do not have anything to worry about here....you look like a bombshell! I know what you mean though - after having Keane, I have the exact same insecurities and issues with my body...and I am way too hard on myself about it. I'm with you here on just appreciating being happy and healthy and not worrying about the little things. You look gorgeous and your outfit is killer as always Rachel! xx Marisa

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  33. This dress is totally adorable just like the girl wearing it!

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  34. Hello! Saw your blog on smile&wave. great post, cute outfit!

    Sarah

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  35. Hi, just hopped over here from Smile & Wave too, and I think you look GREAT!

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  36. You look so beautiful! I LOVE this dress. Thank you for sharing- it's definitely hard to put yourself out there in an outfit post. We are definitely our worst critics though, you look great! Sometimes it's hard to see pics of myself now that I'm in my 30's- aging isn't as easy as I thought it would be :)

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  37. You look fantastic! I love the dress, and I was so happy to find your blog--I'm coming over from Smile and Wave today!

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  38. You soooo don't but it's nice to know others out there feel the same!!!

    You look FAB!!!

    Sal x

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  39. Stopped by from Smile and Wave...Love this dress! I totally get the body changing post-baby... we're on number 4 pregnancy and I've pretty much done away with all full length mirrors in the house. You look lovely, though!

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  40. oh you look gorgous, i love those bright colours on you! and don´t pay to much attention to this bastard demons...well i think we all have days we are not happy with our body and only sew flaws where are obviously no flaws...when i have days like that i try on like 10 dresses and none of them suits because i think during the night i transformed in a monster haha
    you are so right acceptance is the best way!
    kiss,mary

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  41. OMG if you had not mentioned your arms I would not have even noticed them and I can tell you I have now studied them lol and you have definitely not got bingo wings!

    I hate my upper arms in fact they are my most hated body part I think my arms are massive and I know exactly how you feel cos now its summer I am still wearing cardigans a lot of the time as I am so embarassed by them.

    I have been told by many that my body image is totally out of proportion and I look nothing like I think I look but its all in my mind,...well I hope thats true and I don't look as awful as I usually feel

    You look fab xx

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